The things you wish other couples at school would do...

To all those people in love out there - good on you. You've found the one and I wish you luck.

The only thing I can do is hope you're not as bad as some couples. I have eyes, they work perfectly well, and I can see. Even when I don't want to.

When I'm scrolling through social media, do I want to see pictures of you making out? Pictures that you probably took ten times just to get the right angle? No. These photographs are depressing (if this was your intention, however, keep going - it's working). All I really want to see are pictures of people eating pizza at home, on the couch, on a Friday night. They're super comforting.

Do society a favour and take a step away from them. Notice your warm breath isn't immediately trapped by their shirt. It's called distance. For the rest of us, it's called relief. Take one for the team.

God almighty, if you have a free/free period/unscheduled lesson, just study. Don't decide to follow your boy/girlfriend around to all their classes. Just knowing you're in the back of the class, probably venturing places under the table (which, by the way, is totally inappropriate. And yes, this actually happened in one of my classes), is sickening enough.

My teacher once said, 'Leave room for Jesus'. If that didn't make you laugh, I'm sorry. It certainly made me laugh at the time. I smiled just writing it.

PLEASE keep your moody emotions to yourself. The whole school does not need to know you're going through a "rough patch". Keep your head up, wipe away the tears.

 - Okay, I realised that last one makes me seem a little harsh. I feel for you, I really do. Not so much I'm going to come up and hug you (sorry). But maybe I'll ask you if you're doing alright in the toilet. (If that sentence is slightly ambiguous, I mean I'd ask how you're doing whilst we're both situated in the girls bathroom, not actually ask how your experience on the toilet is going.)

You probably read that correct in the first place. Now you're just judging me for even thinking of asking about you on the toilet...

WELCOME TO MY BLOG

IF YOU'RE LUCKY, I MIGHT ASK YOU ABOUT TOILET EXPERIENCES.

If you have any funny stories, though, I'm always ready for a laugh.